I recently came across this great quote from Martha Graham:
“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.
“It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.
“No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”
Well, that certainly got me thinking.
I am usually happy. I don’t know that I’ve always been. At the same time, I’m almost always focused on making something different happen. Something new.
I’m habitually and unconsciously dissatisfied with what is and want to make it new, different, and better.
Maybe I like jazz because it's like that too. Nothing is ever the same as it was. Every performance is unique. Searching. That’s kind of the whole point!
It’s not my business to determine whether my contribution is good or bad, ugly or beautiful. I just have to get my ideas out there.
And do that again. And again. And again…
Being unsettled is a semi-permanent condition. But not apprehensive. I’m not anxious, fearful, or dreadful. Certainly not at this moment.
In the moment. That’s another thing about jazz. Being right … there.
I always say that playing music, playing my bass, is like a mini-vacation. When I’m playing, I’m in that moment. Because I’m not good enough to play and think about anything else.
I have to listen. Keep time. Stop rushing — always!! Listen. Contribute. Listen.
Just listen.
It’s a beautiful thing.
OTOH, I hate listening to recordings of myself playing. I only hear the wrong notes. When I listen to a presentation I’ve done, all I hear is “… um.” Still, it’s not my business to determine how good it is…
I’m creative. My canvas is ideas. Or maybe ideas are my paint, my notes? Problems? Perhaps that’s the canvas…
I don’t own the ideas. I give them away (for pay) at work. Or for free. Doesn’t matter. I’ve got more.
I’ll produce more. Upon demand. I have to do it. I’m a world-class idea improvising machine. An idea artist.
Years ago, I took the Strengthfinders test and learned “Ideation” was one of my top five. Ideation!
I finally get it! Thanks, Martha!
“And,” mutters to himself, “the ideas ramble on.”
Amen.
This post was originally published on someofthebestideas.com.